Comics: Blackest Night #8 by Optimus Douche

Read the original and all of Optimus Douche's other reviews at www.aintitcool.com

With a blinding white light the Blackest Night is finally extinguished. Did this moment cause me to ejaculate with glee? No. Am I going to derail Johns’ writing like so many other reviews bombarding the Intertubes? No. Because at the end of the day, the BLACKEST NIGHT finale was exactly what I expected — and it is no fault of Johns. If there’s anyone to blame, it’s the current state of comics. Comics have always been a business, but today they serve less as the primary business and more of a whirling dervish spitting out synergistic channels of upsell revenue in the form of movies, video games, cartoons and apps…the game can’t change too much without those other channels (that keep the stocks afloat, which keeps our books coming, etc…) suffering a complete collapse.

Comic Review: The Anchor

Reviewed by Tim Hershey:

The Anchor vol. 1, by Phil Hester & Brian Churilla, BOOM Studios

OK, I was really excited about this book. The marketing made it sound cool: “God’s Own Leg-Breaker!” I’m ready for pseudo-religious ass-kicking, mixed with some mythology. The promotional images were reminiscent of Mignola’s Hellboy! This was going to be a great read, with great visuals!
 

Wow. I have been hosed by marketing (yeah, that never happens…). This book was boring. Maybe my expectations were too high. Maybe I assumed that every idea that Hester has, because of his generally being accepted as a good storyteller by people in the industry, would be well-executed. Maybe my mental images of the art were too Mignola-esque, that no one (except Mignola) could meet my expectations. Well, no matter why, I was bored. From the first chapter to the last, I kept wondering when it would get more interesting. I turned the last page and decided I won’t need to pick up the next volume.

The nicest thing about this book was the $9.99 price tag. All trades should be this price. Yay! Way to go! With the price point. Whooo!

Comic Review: X-Men Hope #1

Reviewed by Optimus Douche
Check out the original and all his others over at Aintitcoolnews!

X-MEN: HOPE #1
Writer: Duane Swierczynski
Artist: Steve Dillon
Publisher: Marvel Comics

Remember the great training montages from 80s movies like “Karate Kid” (“You’re the Best”) or any of the “Rocky” movies, those brief moments where our protagonist goes from zero to hero all in the course of two minutes and thirty-five seconds? If you went to the movies for those moments alone then you’ll love X-MEN HOPE, because it is basically the price we used to pay for the movies with training montages, minus the movie.

Comic Review: The Bomb

The  Bomb – Steve Mannion

 

 The term ‘guilty pleasure’ has become both overused and a defensive shield for enjoying music, games, tv, etc, that others might possibly snub their noses at:

 

Sublime tribute band? Guilty pleasure.

Straight to DVD movies with poor CGI monsters? Guilty Pleasure.

Any Stephen King book in the last 20 years? Guilty Pleasure.

 

The time has arrived ladies and gentlemen to cast aside the moniker of Guilty Pleasure, grab your privates, raise your middle finger, and scream in a faux British accent, “Sod off! I fekkin’ love this!” Have pride in your opinions and trust in your taste.

 

The Bomb is just such a beast. Essentially, the book is about a vamped -up pugilistic roller skating Bettie and Veronica imagined by Big Daddy Ed Roth, Mad Peck, Sam Keith, or  John Kricfalus running around fighting zombies, Nazi-doctors, and mindless mutant thugs who are, as per usual attempting to ruin the collective lives of the Cleavers.  

 

Mannion’s world is brimming with page girl vixens and ham-fisted violence. He makes dutch-oven jokes and moose antlers seem sexy and fun. Mannion’s dialogue is reminiscent of Bazooka Joe comics with the same rim-shot punchlines. What this collection lacks in cohesion and plot (it reads like years of restarted mini-comics pasted together) it makes up for in the beauty and whimsical nature of the art. Each panel is a toss back to pre-comic code excellence without feeling cliché or forced. It is clear Mannion loves his work.

 

The book has, for me, destroyed the concept of Guilty Pleasure. I feel no guilt what-so-ever in stating that despite the lack of significant cohesion of the book, I am ready to shell out more money for Mannion’s current book Fearless Dawn.

Comics: The Unwritten, Vol.1

The Unwritten: Vol 1. Tommy Taylor and the Bogus Identity

Mike Carey and Peter Gross

Reviewed by Kire Carlson

 

Harry Potter is a chump. J.K. Rowling, despite her fame and billions, managed to patchworks bits of Tolkien and Vertigo's Books of Magic into a commercial tapestry which covered the world in milquetoast colors of feigned originality. Lost in the stitches of Rolwing's tale was that of Timothy Hunter; Vertigo's be-speckled and orphaned world mage. But really, where is the harm in that? 

 

Carey and Gross, both of whom muddled about in Hunter's universe  either directly or indirectly, have sought to claim what Rowling had stolen from society. Stories with punch. The tale of Unwritten begins as simple satire: Young Tommy Taylor, or Tom as he begs to be called, is the living blueprint of his father's bestselling fictional character: An aged Christopher Robin or a twenty-sometihng Alice Liddell. The disappearance of the real Tom's father has the world salivating with questions and accusations. A sudden scandal following TommyCon, divides the legion of fans into those who believe he is a fraud and those who are convinced he is the second coming. What follows is a traversing of the literary world and enough allusions to satisfy any bibliophile. 

 

Carey does what Carey does best. He leaves enough plot holes exposed to keep astute readers curious and willing to sit through anything. Those who followed his Hellblazer run will remember that it took him over a year to resolve many of the extensive an plot issues. Cary is a master storyteller and for those patient enough to follow him, the payoff rarely fails. Gross' work, although typically inconsistent and seemingly stuck in the 80's, is still stronger than most Vertigo books and in no way detracts from the overall story. In fact, it dose what the best Vertigo books do, it causes a healthy confusion in the reader as one tries to discern why TommyCon would have other authors featured or a family event would allow slash fiction depicting Tommy tooting his Magic Horn to be prominently displayed. 

 

Ironically, the strongest tale in this TPB is not the Tommy stories but a tale of Rudyard Kipling, Oscar Wilde, and MArk Twain. Carey so convincingly appropriates these authors into his world, that one immediately empathizes with them and, because of this, Carey manages to turn Disney's vision from a kid friendly sing-a-long-for-profit into an allegorical attack on the powers that be. 

 

Essentially, Unwritten is about possession. It is about who owns the stories we love. It is about the freedom of expressing ideas. It is about owning an identity and the repercussions of such a task. It is the invisible thread which holds together stories and connects the real world's greatest escape: Stories. 

If you are not already, it is about time you open your mind to the world of literature and read the Unwritten.

Jrunktards...Coming to an Eardrum near you!

So the time has come to unleash what will be the worst game show (in the audio format, silly I know) ever to hit your ears. We test our wits against each other while tackling questions and drinking. Expect expletives, slurring and dumb comments that have nothing to do with the answer.

So by now you are wondering, "How is the game played?" I'm so glad you asked, the game has 3 Sections: Movies, Comics & More and the Lightning Round. Each round is a little different.

Movies:

Quotes - Name that Movie

Word Association - Name that Movie (3 clues)

Comic Books & More:

Straight questions - Multiple Choice and Trivia Questions

Lightning Round:

Categories Scramble - Start with a Category and a crossfire of things in that category

Now you know how it is played you are definitely asking, "How does one win?" Well you determine that. After listening to the podcast you send us your vote. Either on our facebook page (facebook.com and search "Poptards Podcast!") or email us at info@poptardsgo.com. We will then reveal the winner the next episode.

After reading this, if you are interested in participating there are several ways you can. You can submit questions and categories via facebook or email or you can join us in the shenanigans when we record again. Hope to hear from you guys soon. We are recording this weekend so keep your ears to the ground for some cheekiness.

Muffin-tops and Goths: Wet Moon Book 1

by JayDee!

I am not, despite what my high school bullies may have thought, a 15 year old girl. I am also not goth, though I suppose I may have dabbled a bit while settling myself into the punk subculture. I've always been more about expressing my anger and humor through music then wallowing in sadness and writing in my journal. For these reasons, I'm not totally able to enjoy the characters in this series. There are aspects that I can definitely relate to, like going to art school, hanging out with my reject friends, having fairly mundane conversations about the most trivial of things that seem to mean the world to us. For THESE reasons, I made it through this edition and will be checking out the next one, at least. But whatever pros or cons I may be struggling with in regards to the story, I'm not having any bit of inner turmoil just staring at the art in this book.

The art by Ross Campbell is every beautiful girl that I glance at out of the corner of my eye, but am too chicken-shit to talk to, and so when our eyes meet I quickly look away nervously, not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable. Thankfully this book can't feel uncomfortable, otherwise it would probably issue a restraining order against me just for staring so damn much. And don't get me wrong, it isn't because the characters in the book are drawn as overly sexy. Most of the characters are either lanky and awkward or pudgy and walking around with their muffin-tops hanging over their studded belts.  But everything is so beautifully rendered with such a seductive line that it's just so damn enrapturing.

Book One captures the feeling of being just out of high school and wandering your way into college and all the drama that entails, which is great since that's what the story is about, so far. But it's also part of the problem. So far the story has yet to really capture my attention in any other way but tapping into my nostalgia for entering art school. I'm hoping that volume two really gets into the meat of the story and drags me along for the ride.

When I say HEROES you say OK I WILL CATCH UP!!!

So we are now in the 4th season of "Heroes." The only thing I can say about it is that it makes me revert back to those Saturday morning cartoons that I loved so much. You know, when you would grab your proton pack and stomp trap and catch some ghosts with the Ghostbusters. This show has all sorts of twists and turns and sometimes you don't know who is on what side.

My favorite part of this television show is the character development. Most shows will keep the characters in a certain comfort zone of emotion and development to keep the show going, but not "Heroes." Each season some heroes will slip up into the power hungry maniacs and some will become the stand off little lamb that wants nothing to do than get back to their regular lives. I was very weary when they started introducing new people with new powers, but so far we are doing pretty well.

A nice thing about the TV series is that it has kept up with the original comic book feel. They do this by not only having heroes and villains fighting one another, but the online comic books and the side character break off skits are just what the doctor ordered for that extra craving for more content.

So when you need a change from all the CISs and Law and Orders hop over to NBC on Mondays at 8 pm est and enjoy some awesome twists and an occasional car flip or flying man who forgot to switch to his tights. (no they aren't super heroes, just people with something a little extra)